


The Song of Siblings

by readeverystory



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26180911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readeverystory/pseuds/readeverystory
Summary: Zuko prepares for his fight with Azula and reminisces how their relationship got to this point.
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar)
Kudos: 18





	The Song of Siblings

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have just finished rewatching ATLA and for some reason, the Agni Kai between Zuko and Azula hit me real hard this time.   
> I mean they are siblings. It´s heartbreaking that they have to fight each other. And it´s also heartbreaking that they only got here because of the royal asshole Ozai. (Also side-note: awesome use of violins in that scene).   
> Plus, I was wondering why Azula´s flames were blue. So, I came up with this fic. Hope you enjoy.

Your fire hasn't always burned blue. Do you even remember that, Azula? Do you even remember a time when your fire hasn't been so hot that the flames turned blue? A time when you weren't as furious with the world as you are now. A time when you were just a regular kid with regular firebending abilities.   
Do you remember that? Because I do. I remember us playing with fire in the courtyard. I remember that your fire had been yellow and red just like mine. And then something changed.   
You must've been around ten. Mother had been gone for around two years Uncle Iroh had been a traitor for a little while longer. And Father had taken you under his wing for the majority of the time. That´s when I noticed something was off. I remember seeing your blue flames and thinking "This can't be right, This isn't normal". I remember thinking "I should do something about it". But I didn't.   
I failed you. Just like I always had. Just like I always do.   
Instead of helping you, of showing you kindness and compassion, of teaching you how beautiful the world can be, I watched your flames get even hotter, bluer as your anger and disappointment in the world festered and grew. Until it was too late. Until your flames could never return to their original, beautiful yellow and red. 

We were never close, you and I. At least not as close as other siblings. We never quite understood each other. But there was a time when we used to love one another despite our differences. Or at least I loved you.   
There was a time when I wanted to be your big brother when I wanted to protect you from the cruelties of this world. I remember carrying you in my arms when we were both still so little that I could barely lift you from the ground. I remember that you were my first, and for a long time only, friend. I remember that I wanted to shield from Father and his hurtful words. And I remember encouraging Mother to spend time with you. You may not believe me, Azula, but I truly wanted to protect you.   
But somewhere along the way, I failed you. Just like I always had. Just like I always do.   
Maybe it was because I was just a child myself and growing up in a toxic household is never easy. Maybe it was because Father noticed your talent for firebending, something I couldn't hide from him. Maybe it was because Mother, for some reason, was never able to give you the love you needed.   
Whatever it was, you slipped from my grasp. And in time, I went from being your protective older brother to your competitor. 

Looking back, I can see how Father pitted us against each other. How he made us hate each other by letting us compete for his love, for his praise, for his attention. Only the better sibling, the better child could get what they wanted, what they needed. The other one was left to starve. To get by on nothing more but small crumbs. It is easy to see, now that I´m older. Back then I was oblivious.   
I went along with it, fighting against you every single day just to get into Father´s good graces. Just to get a small nod, maybe even a smile from him. I wanted, I needed to be better than you. But I never was. And so I became hateful toward you. I became your enemy.  
Once again, I failed you. Just like I always had. Just like I always do.   
Instead of teaching you trust and kindness. Instead of sticking by your side. Instead of loving you unconditionally, I let him drive a wedge between us. And I watched you learn that love had to earned and that fear was far more reliable than trust. 

And then I was banished. Who knows, maybe if I hadn´t been, something would´ve changed. Maybe Iroh would´ve helped both of us. Maybe we would´ve helped one another. Or maybe we would´ve both become power-hungry maniacs, wanting to take over the world. I don´t know what would´ve happened. What I do know is what did happen.   
I left you. Not because I wanted to. Not on my own account. But, still, I did. I left you and Father could focus his whole toxic energy on you. On his only, remaining child. I can only imagine what a toll this had on your soul, on your psyche. I can only imagine the things he forced you to do. I can only imagine the pain you had to go through. I can only imagine.   
Again, I failed you. Just like I always had. Just like I always do. 

But maybe this time, I won´t. Maybe this time, something will be different.   
Because your fire hasn´t always burned blue. Do you even remember that, Azula? Because I do. I remember a time when you weren´t as furious with the world as you are now. A time when your fire was yellow and red just like mine. A time when you were just a regular kid with regular firebending abilities. And maybe by fighting you, I get the chance to show you how to be that once more.   
Maybe this time I won´t fail you.


End file.
